Kareoke will never be a sober sport
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
my poor anus
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
