we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
