her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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