i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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