Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
