Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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