Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
