she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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