You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
