You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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