thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Randomize
