So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
