everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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