Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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