There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
