how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
