I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Randomize
