Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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