question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
