and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need to calm my uterus...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
