Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
