I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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