I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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