Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
