seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
