i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
