Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
