the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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