Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
