that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
