Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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