did you get engaged???
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
