I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
