I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
