Dual....:-)
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
