You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Who died my cat blue again?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
