Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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