They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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