Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
