sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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