May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
too bad you live with your parents still
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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