Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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