Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
