Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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