Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
