Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
