By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
