Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
