I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
