Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
